I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
