He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
