these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
