I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
