just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
God, you're like boner-b-gone
We left an ass print on the piano.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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