so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
