i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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