all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
