I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
