dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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