Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
