Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
