1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
