I think i peed on brittanys purse
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
