Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Randomize
