I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
