It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
