Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
