There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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