I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
