Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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