Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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