please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
