I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
