Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
