I want to make a zoo with you.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
