so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
