we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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