Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
