I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
