I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
