My room smells like vodka and shame
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
