Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
