i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
