Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Bring me that man meat
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
