you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
