Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
