Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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