I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
