I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
