soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
