Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
