and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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