"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
