i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
