hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
You need Xanax blowdarts
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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