Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
