I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
