There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
We had sex on a dog bed..
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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