Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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