I got her a Nickelback box set.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
