This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
