I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
