Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
